How do I know if behavioral euthanasia is the right decision for my dog?

Nov 23

Let me first start out by saying that there is not one right answer to this question. And to add to that, if you’re asking yourself if behavioral euthanasia is the right option for your dog, it’s likely that it is.

I’m sure you ended up here looking for guidance and reassurance that this is the right decision so let me just walk you through all of the things to consider.

I’m not going to give you a checklist that tells you at the end whether or not behavioral euthanasia is the right option, nor am I going to give you a definitive answer. This is because the journey to reaching this decision is unique to each person and their dog.

While your dog may have many similarities to my dog Gus who I chose to behaviorally euthanize, they are not the same dog.

So, let me instead provide you with some things that can help you reflect on this decision. I want to hold space to the complexity of this choice while honoring the love and effort you’ve already poured into helping your dog live a happy or even just a stable life.

Before we really dive in, I want you to remember…

This is not about judgment and choosing behavioral euthanasia doesn’t mean you love your dog any less. It means you’re prioritizing their comfort and safety, and the safety of everyone around them, in the most selfless way possible.

Which takes us to this…

You don’t have to exhaust every option.

It’s a common belief that we must try every training method, hire every professional, and explore every medical intervention before behavioral euthanasia can even be considered. But this isn’t always realistic—or fair.

I didn’t with Gus and I still stand by it being the right decision for him.

Now I know it can be easy to feel pressured to try everything, especially with so many voices on the internet and social media telling you that all dogs can be saved. Or maybe you came across a balanced trainer or e-collar trainer who claims that they can save any dog with the use of aversive tools.

While these tools seem to be helpful and often give the illusion of the dog being fixed, the reality is often far more complex—especially with dogs who have severe behavioral issues. Aversive tools like e-collars, prong collars, or other punishment-based methods suppress behavior rather than addressing the underlying emotions driving it. This suppression can make it appear as though the problem is solved, but it often creates a ticking time bomb.

If you have a dog with significant behavior challenges, it’s crucial to consider the risks associated with using these tools. And while the promise of a quick fix can feel tempting in moments of desperation, the fallout—both emotionally for your dog and physically for everyone involved—can be devastating and ultimately dangerous. But, I’ll save those thoughts for it’s own separate blog post otherwise we’ll be here all day.

I’ll just leave that point with this - It’s important to weigh these risks carefully and most (if not all) dogs with these intense behavior issues are struggling with challenges so deeply rooted in their genetics, early life experiences, or underlying medical conditions that even the best interventions may not lead to “fixing” the problem.

And when it comes to training, you can still be making progress in training with your dog and be having good days and still have behavioral euthanasia be the right option. Gus made a lot of wins in training yet he was still unpredictable, dangerous, and suffering.

This doesn’t mean that you’ve given up, that you didn’t do enough, or that you did the wrong thing. It simply means that sometimes the bad parts are bad enough where choosing behavioral euthanasia is the best option.

On top of that, exhausting every option out there also comes with its own cost.

You have emotional burnout, living in fear and constant anxiety, the risk of physical harm, financial strain, experiencing excessive levels of stress, and prolonged suffering for your dog. You don’t need to go through endless hoops to prove you’ve done enough.

You truly are not obligated to pursue every possibility if it comes at the cost of your dog’s well-being—or your own..

Which takes me to my next factor to consider…

The well-being of everyone involved.

This is the part that I feel is so important and not always talked about enough when it comes to making the decision for behavioral euthanasia. So often we get stuck on our dog’s quality of life that we forget about our own.

I know as people who love dogs we always feel a very strong responsibility to put our dogs well-being and quality of life over our own. And I know there are a lot of people out there who will probably focus solely on the dog’s quality of life. However, that’s not fair. For many reasons but mostly because everyone deserves to have a quality of life that feels good for them. But again, I’m not going to go into that because then this blog post will never end.

I want you to do some reflecting though. Read these questions and seriously give them thought an answer honestly. Write them down if you need to. Talk to your therapist, trusted friend, your dog’s trainer, your vet or vet behaviorst about them.

For yourself:

Are you living in constant fear or anxiety about your dog’s actions?
Do you ever feel physically unsafe with your dog in the house?
Are you mentally and emotionally able to continue managing their behavior?
Do you currently live a life that brings you joy?

For your pets:

Are other animals in your home at risk of harm or experiencing stress because of your dog’s behavior?
How do the other animals in your home act around your dog?
Have your other animals ever been injured by your dog?
Are the other animals in your home safe around your dog?

For other people:

If there are children, partners, or roommates in the home, how are they being impacted? Are they safe?
Is your dog’s behavior putting others in the household at risk, whether physically or emotionally?
Have other people expressed fear or concern about their safety around your dog?
Has your dog attempted to or successfully harmed another person?

Everyone’s safety needs to be a priority. And if you need to really hear it like I did… your safety and peace matter just as much as your dog’s. It’s okay to factor yourself and others into this decision.

Taking into consideration everyone's needs and well-being is not selfish nor does it mean you’re giving up on your dog.

And this takes us to the next point…

There are things worse than death.

Yep. There are things worse than death.

A friend who also made the decision to behaviorally euthanize her dog said this to me and it hasn’t left my head since. It’s such a powerful statement and touches on so many aspects that come along with not having to exhaust all options.

For our dogs, living a life where they are in a constant state of fear, riddled with anxiety, dealing with chronic pain, and having such intense feels that lead them to aggressing or panicking to the point of injuring themselves isn’t fair.

This is not a life of quality.

When a dog’s daily reality is marked by suffering they can’t escape, the kindest choice may be to let them go.

The mental, emotional, and/or physical struggles start to become insurmountable. Yet, we often view death as the worst possibe outcome, but for some dogs that’s the kindest gift you can give them.

Relief.

Relief from living with a brain and body that they’re suffering in and can’t escape from on their own.

With that relief for them does come with pain for us. Making the decision to behaviorally euthanize your dog is extremely heartbreaking and complex. I want you to acknowledge that it is also an act of love.

And just know, you don’t have to navigate this decision alone.

If you are already working with a dog trainer, dog behavior consultant, or veterinary behaviorist I recommend that you let them know this is an option you are considered and pursuing and ask if they would be able to help guide you through this decision.

If you are not currently working with a dog behavior professional, I recommend consulting with trusted professionals, such as your vet, a veterinary behaviorist, or qualified dog behavior consultant to help you if you feel you still need help making sure this is the right decision.

If you’d like to hear more personal experiences or need additional resources, I’ve shared my story in The Story of Gus: Why I Chose Behavioral Euthanasia for My Soul Dog and I behaviorally euthanized my dog 3 years ago… You’ll also find more resources there to support you during this time.

Before you go I want you to trust that you’ve done your best with the resources and information you had at the time.

Every dog, every situation, and every person is different. What feels manageable or possible for one family may feel unsustainable for another. And that’s okay. Choosing behavioral euthanasia doesn’t mean you’ve failed your dog. It doesn’t mean you didn’t try hard enough or love them enough. It means you’re making a choice that considers everyone’s well-being—including your dog’s. You’re likely grappling with an immense amount of love, guilt, fear, and uncertainty. So, let me remind you… there is no one right answer to this question.

You’ve loved your dog fiercely and have done your best to provide them with a happy, safe life. Choosing behavioral euthanasia doesn’t erase that love—it’s a continuation of it. It’s a choice rooted in compassion, even when it breaks your heart.

Whatever you decide, be gentle with yourself. You and your dog deserve kindness and understanding. And no matter what, your love for them will always remain.

xoxo,

Emily Fitzpatrick, VSA-CDT & FFCP