3 steps for helping you to be more consistent with your dog’s training - especially when you have ADHD

If you struggle to be consistent with your dog’s training and erichment this is for you!

You’ve probably heard this:

“Consistent training is key.”

Or maybe…

“Dogs need consistent structure to thrive.”

“Consistency is essential for creating a strong bond with your dog.”

“Consistency is the key to your dog’s success.”

If you have ADHD like me, this emphasis on consistency in dog training kinda sucks.

At best, it’s trite and unhelpful. At worst, I feel like a shitty dog parent. It often feels like my brain just CAN’T be consistent in the way that I want it to. As neurodivergent dog parents, it’s not that we are lazy or not trying hard enough.

It’s that our brains work differently - and a lot of common dog training advice doesn’t reflect this.

Unfortunately for us, some amount of consistency is important in our dog’s lives. Let’s use my dog JJ as an example here.

• It’s important that she gets her anxiety meds every day.

• Her quality of life is best when I consistently get her scheduled for her monthly arthritis pain treatment.

• I want scary things (like the sound of trash trucks) to consistently predict yummy treats, so her confidence grows.

Doing these things on a consistent basis does not come naturally to me.

And this is where a lot of the “be consistent” advice falls apart. That general advice tells us what to aim for - the outcome - but not how to get there.

So how can we make consistency work for our neurodivergent brains?

Firstly, let’s think about consistency in a way that is more forgiving, and less strict.

Step 1: Lower your expectations for yourself. We’re going for “good enough,” not perfection.

As neurodivergent people, it’s not that we can’t be consistent. It’s that consistency for us looks DIFFERENT than it does for neurotypicals. And that’s ok! If we use a rigid definition of being consistent, we’ll feel like we failed before we even started.

Your version of showing up consistently for your dog doesn’t have to look like anyone else’s.

What we think consistency is:

• Training EVERY day

• 5 minutes of training, 5 days a week

• Keeping a schedule or routine

• Doing the same thing in the same way each time

• Having “rules” that you or your dog have to follow

• Perfection or nothing

This is too strict! I’m stressed just writing these. And I know myself - this type of consistency feels inaccessible.

This is what consistency can look like instead:

• Training when you remember

• Predictably being a safe person for your dog

• Scattering treats when your dog hears or see a trigger from afar

• Honoring your dog’s autonomy when it comes to whether they want pets & cuddles

• Being kind to yourself when you “miss” a day (or week, or month)

• Doing your best to meet your dog’s needs (like play, bathroom breaks, or attention) when they ask

• Using management to minimize exposure to triggers

Step 2: Take your struggles and barriers to action seriously.

Even if you don’t realize it, there are probably little things that get in the way of you being consistent.

For example:

• Avoiding an activity due to a sensory ick or overstimulation

• Completely forgetting that a task exists - and other executive functioning struggles

• Having to complete prerequisite tasks (aka training your dog isn’t just one task!)

• Not knowing what to train and how to train it

Your barriers to action are valid. They impact you, and they are important.

Step 3: Try something out that you think will work for you.

Take a look at a single task that you want to be more consistent with, and assess your barriers to completing it.

Then, make a plan that you think will accommodate your barriers and make it easier for you to complete the activity.

This could look like:

• Setting up small baskets or supply stations that make getting started less cumbersome

• Little ways to remember: signs on doors, alarms, using body doubling

• Using sensory-friendly supplies & treats

Reminder: Progress isn’t linear!

Your needs and systems can change over time.

For JJ’s daily meds, I used to use an alarm. That worked until I turned the alarm off for a vacation and… never turned it back on again. My ability to be consistent disappeared, because my old system wasn’t working any more.

Now, I give JJ her meds right after I put her breakfast in her bowl every(ish) day. Attaching the medication habit to her breakfast habit helps me remember - because there’s basically a 0% chance that I forget her breakfast.

And honestly? There are still some days that I forget to give JJ her meds on time.

As I’m writing this, I’m realizing that I forgot them this morning…

So, be gentle with yourself.

You aren’t failing as a dog parent because you struggle to keep a routine, or be consistent, or remember to do training activities.

Your dog doesn’t need you to be perfect.

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P.S. Do you want to be supported as a dog parent with ADHD by a community of other neurodivergent dog guardians?

Check out our Confident Mutts Club where you can be your authentic, neurodivergent self, and gain amazing support from other dog parents who just get it!

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